"Connie, could I see you in my office?" It was bald, frumpy Lou Wright, the owner of Good Neighbor. "Sure, Lou, just let me put my purse..." Connie's heart seized. "Lou! What happened to my desk?" "That's what I want to talk to you about." "That's my desk, Lou! It's been my desk for twenty-five fucking years!" There was nothing special about the desk - like everything else at Good Neighbor it was cheap and battered, but it was the window desk, overlooking the strip mall parking lot. It said to anyone who entered Good Neighbor that Connie was the A-Number-One salesperson."You know the rules, Connie," said Lou, holding out his hands as if he was helpless in the matter, "Best desk goes to the top producer." Connie felt her whole body wrench. "I'm the top producer, Lou. You know it!" "Not according to the board." "Fuck the board, Lou! I will not stand for this! You take my desk, Lou, and I quit. You hear! I quit, and all my clients go with me!" "Now, Connie." "I'm serious, Lou.. Or both?” Uncle Curtis demanded of his new playthings.“I am ... married... , “ Oliver Stack declared, “and I’m ... Stick’s lover. He’s married, too.”“You must not mind chaw stains or something!” Aunt Molly mocked him while Uncle Curtis and the rest of us laughed.“Apparently, neither does his wife!” I added, getting a wide-eyed stare from Stick.“I’m married, too,” Neil Purdy conceded, “and I’m screwing, or was, Stick’s wife.”“Wow, this here’s a hillbilly soap opera!” Erin snorted now.“That’s okay. I was banging Neil’s wife myself,” Kieran admitted now, “and Oliver’s. And my own, of course.”“I was ... completely faithful to Mary Anne,” Jim Bob Current declared without any righteous pomposity such as he might usually attach to such claims.“And she to you, oddly enough, but that won’t last anymore,” Gavin interjected now, “also, Oliver’s wife is what you rustics refer to colloquially as the ‘town tramp,’ not that I judge. She’s very promiscuous already, due to apparent nymphomania, or as.
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